Give us you input on this entry.
Wedding Movies today emphasis complaints found in the wedding industry. The movie writer wants something funny or a disaster that occurred to ruin a wedding and will complete a good movie plot. Sometimes they mock tradition and the people involved to build the characters in the wedding planning. There are now TV shows aired weekly on wedding disasters. These concerns can dull the viewers opinion and set the bride up to think all will be a disaster or you will become a bridezilla......So un-needed and unrealistic. Remember, 95% of the weddings are carried off without a problem and here are some tips on not taking their "scenes" so personally!!
1. Hiring Your Services....and asking friends or family to complete parts of the wedding services, can lead you down an un-marked trail. Ordinarily, we review wedding services recommendations, know how long they have been in business and interview them to find out what exactly they will do and sign an agreement with dates, times and outline of services....With a family/friend, we are not as inclined to do this.....think ohhhh it will be o.k., but they can let you down - leaving you with hurt feelings regarding your wedding.
2. Family Interference In Your Wedding Plans......There is always a certain amount of input from everyone. But I find busy brides are inclined to turn over their wedding to sisters-friends and then find they are having the same wedding over and over again. Same vendors, same flowers. same...everything and pretty soon, it is not your wedding at all. If you are working with someone like this, it is vital you put the time in to say how you want it to be your wedding, your ideas and create the wedding day of YOUR dreams. Working with a professional wedding planner can help with this.
3. Asking far too much out of one or two people....This is a touchy subject. Realize they may be working full time too, live in another city, have little children, ailing parents, or not appreciate the extra stress levels. Often we consider our maid of honor to be our work horse, and there are some things we do not have to ask her to do. I have seen movies where the wedding planner or maid of honor completing a bridal registry.....she and the groom need to accomplish this. Everything asked for takes an element of time and organization to get it done. Exhaustion and resentment can set in for these people.
4. Taking the nervousness and bridal stress out on others and not taking it to the gym. This can lead to lost relationships and sometimes lost grooms. Lots to learn here to stay out of the bridezilla factor.
5. Understanding the larger the wedding and reception, the more help you will need - especially the day of. This is where odd mistakes can occur. Flowers left in the sun because no one was there for the delivery. Reception set up taking much more time than you have. People not told what time and where to come for the rehearsal.....and on and on.
While there may be a concern or two on a wedding day. Understand the movies and TV shows are there to show - over reactions and over-state problems that might occur. Circumventing pitfalls and problems is what the wedding planning classes on http://www.SuperStarWedding.com are all about. - The first 90 minutes is free..
Showing posts with label wedding stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding stress. Show all posts
Friday, April 15, 2011
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Wedding Coach - Solutions To Handling Your Wedding Stress
You are correct, there are bound to be some high stress times during the wedding planning. Many initiate from disagreements during the planning of a wedding. Believe me, they can come from every angle. They frequently cause brides or couples to become stressed out. The end result of a loving, beautiful experience becomes ridden with bad memories. The following will give you some insights to these concerns. Please take a few minutes to analyze the following and let us know your thoughts on the subject. After thirty years of working with brides....Here are a few of mine...
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Local and Destination Wedding Planning
Understanding what flares anger will help calm and sometimes dis-spell emotional armament -- because it arms you with a CHOICE on whether you RESPOND or REACT.
Most ANGER comes from Blocked Goals, Someone's Lack of Integrity, Lack of Money and Dealing with other people's Critiques, Our Self Doubts, Other people's Self-Centered Attitudes and Hormonal Emotions plus good old Wedding Envy. This leads to Stress Issues surrounding a wedding day....and when it is your wedding day - who needs it.
Who is in charge? Couples are often afraid of letting any decision go because of family or friend interference. It is difficult to get the reigns back from a stagecoach out of control. Brides fear turning over one decision to another person...because they might take over the entire project. This can really exhaust a bride, especially if she has never completed a wedding before.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR PERSONAL ANGER...
Notice if your anger builds as your goals and ideas become challenged? Often a Bride's Goal is to get the wedding plans completed - her way...yet she has to speak up in a very loud chorus of voices who are telling her what to do.... and still...publically.... be cheerful about it!
Also keep in perspective the dynamics of family and friends expectations, rifes, closeness, disloyal sisters, brothers and mothers who raised you both. If you tend to be a people pleaser - please stop - they can derail your personal goals. Pretty soon couples are carrying a huge backpack of people's concerns and input....that can lead to your feeling far to responsible for others. This leads to frustration, sleepless nights and stuffed anger that can come in on the days of your monthly cycle to haunt you. As a bride, your first consideration is your groom and your second is your budget.
Suggestions: Make Choices ahead - on how you will respond to people. Stand as a couple - a team of two - for the strength to say what WE WANT if the situation occurs. You're not playing football where the best defense is an strong offense. Offense is part of the word offensive -- there are alternatives.
Sadly some brides grab the overused sentence of, "Its My Wedding!" which turns others off - like a switch. Being in charge of your wedding can be an excellent platform to show leadership skills - not dictatorial skills.
Alternative Statements "We value your input regarding our wedding, we will discuss this, and if we can use it (the idea) we will." OR... "Thanks for the helpful idea, I will discuss this with......"
What statement would you make??
TIPS...
When you begin feeling upset, analyze where the feelings are coming from and create a log. Set up your best way to respond to issues and honor your stated values. Understand - we can select our friends, but we cannot always select our relatives. When people are nervous they react/respond differently. ... and that is true of family members and the wedding party.
Ask one friend, or your groom to be your sounding board on concerns - everyone does not have to know the problems that come up in the planning process or who did what to whom. Find methods to get rid of your stress as the wedding comes closer. Trips to the gym's punching bag or kick boxing and walks or running have high merits on lowering stress. Take it easy on dieting - that really raises your stress level and remember, it also produces cortizone - a big weight issue.
The wedding videos, movies and t.v. shows often give us reactionary brides -- most do not show how to deal with situations, or show you how to be a "responsive bride". You gain this from strong knowledge - that everything will be fine. Gain this reassurance and confidence by using our good wedding planning book.
P.S. Sign up for our wedding planning book and management forms. They are filled with humor, organization ideas. Please enjoy all the informative articles on wedding and honeymoon planning written by wedding experts.
Copyright © Judith Rivers-Moore, JRPublications 2013-14-15, Santa Rosa, California, UA-36897602-8
Local and Destination Wedding Planning
Understanding what flares anger will help calm and sometimes dis-spell emotional armament -- because it arms you with a CHOICE on whether you RESPOND or REACT.
Most ANGER comes from Blocked Goals, Someone's Lack of Integrity, Lack of Money and Dealing with other people's Critiques, Our Self Doubts, Other people's Self-Centered Attitudes and Hormonal Emotions plus good old Wedding Envy. This leads to Stress Issues surrounding a wedding day....and when it is your wedding day - who needs it.
Who is in charge? Couples are often afraid of letting any decision go because of family or friend interference. It is difficult to get the reigns back from a stagecoach out of control. Brides fear turning over one decision to another person...because they might take over the entire project. This can really exhaust a bride, especially if she has never completed a wedding before.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR PERSONAL ANGER...
Notice if your anger builds as your goals and ideas become challenged? Often a Bride's Goal is to get the wedding plans completed - her way...yet she has to speak up in a very loud chorus of voices who are telling her what to do.... and still...publically.... be cheerful about it!
Also keep in perspective the dynamics of family and friends expectations, rifes, closeness, disloyal sisters, brothers and mothers who raised you both. If you tend to be a people pleaser - please stop - they can derail your personal goals. Pretty soon couples are carrying a huge backpack of people's concerns and input....that can lead to your feeling far to responsible for others. This leads to frustration, sleepless nights and stuffed anger that can come in on the days of your monthly cycle to haunt you. As a bride, your first consideration is your groom and your second is your budget.
Suggestions: Make Choices ahead - on how you will respond to people. Stand as a couple - a team of two - for the strength to say what WE WANT if the situation occurs. You're not playing football where the best defense is an strong offense. Offense is part of the word offensive -- there are alternatives.
Sadly some brides grab the overused sentence of, "Its My Wedding!" which turns others off - like a switch. Being in charge of your wedding can be an excellent platform to show leadership skills - not dictatorial skills.
Alternative Statements "We value your input regarding our wedding, we will discuss this, and if we can use it (the idea) we will." OR... "Thanks for the helpful idea, I will discuss this with......"
What statement would you make??
TIPS...
When you begin feeling upset, analyze where the feelings are coming from and create a log. Set up your best way to respond to issues and honor your stated values. Understand - we can select our friends, but we cannot always select our relatives. When people are nervous they react/respond differently. ... and that is true of family members and the wedding party.
Ask one friend, or your groom to be your sounding board on concerns - everyone does not have to know the problems that come up in the planning process or who did what to whom. Find methods to get rid of your stress as the wedding comes closer. Trips to the gym's punching bag or kick boxing and walks or running have high merits on lowering stress. Take it easy on dieting - that really raises your stress level and remember, it also produces cortizone - a big weight issue.
The wedding videos, movies and t.v. shows often give us reactionary brides -- most do not show how to deal with situations, or show you how to be a "responsive bride". You gain this from strong knowledge - that everything will be fine. Gain this reassurance and confidence by using our good wedding planning book.
P.S. Sign up for our wedding planning book and management forms. They are filled with humor, organization ideas. Please enjoy all the informative articles on wedding and honeymoon planning written by wedding experts.
Copyright © Judith Rivers-Moore, JRPublications 2013-14-15, Santa Rosa, California, UA-36897602-8
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